I would not allow myself to be even a little apprehensive about the tug-of-war event of our annual track and field week in gradeschool. In years past, I and my very large friend M had served as the anchor team that led our classes to victory; but that year, M and I were in different classes.
We were great friends, M and I. He lived just a couple of blocks from my grandmother's house, which was where I spent most of my time. As tug-of-warriors, we were comrades; we would sacrifice our hands on those thick, rough ropes, and our arms' strength on pulling twenty or more of our classmates with us to gain those blue silky soft first place ribbons.
I had a confidence that my class would win this event because my class had won this event every year. I realized that I, with the help of my other, smaller classmates would have to find a way to overpower M and his class, but I absolutely did not entertain the possibility that my class could lose. Winning was the only option. Only the blue ribbon existed. Only the blue ribbon counted.
The preliminary rounds of this time-honored grudge match, the tug-of-war, went predictably; M's class handily defeated their opponents, while my class subdued ours easily. In the final round, the whole student body was divided. There was an energy emanating from all the other students who had been dispatched in previous rounds. They all had picked a class to cheer for. I've never played football, but I knew in that moment how a football player feels on the field. I was ready to go to war...tug-of-war.
Time seemed to slow to a crawl, as I watched my classmates take their places along the pulling line, heartily digging their tennis-shoed feet into the soft cocoa earth. I, of course, was the anchor, the last hope in the event of catastrophe. I watched as my arch-rival, who had been my friend and compatriot, grabbed his side of the rope, just before a knot tied close to the end. Defeat was never an option for me. I took that sacred twined line in my hands, just above the knotting on my end, as I knew glory was moments away.
A heartbeat thumped deep within my chest; I could hear the heaving breaths of my classmates' anticipation. Another beat, and then a whistle sounded a deep, distorted, macabre growl, as over forty gradeschool children pulled for their very lives; for the blue ribbon alone was life. Armageddon had begun.
A red flag attached to the mid-point of the rope quivered as the rope became taut. Yet, the rope was unmoving; confusion gripped my class as our lifeline trembled. The other opponents posed hardly a challenge, as the rope had always given in our direction. Never had it not moved at all. And then the unthinkable: The red flag whose gain meant blue drifted from us; first one centimeter, then another, then another. The cries of children filled the air as fate dealt its mortal blow. As I glanced at the rope between squints of strain, I saw, one by one, the sweaty-palmed hands of my peers falling away as exhaustion consumed them. I refused to release the means of my salvation; the blue ribbon was the only ribbon.
My enemy's class continued their slow, methodical migration of the flag away from us; the leverage of my body against the rope was reversed. The impossible was becoming reality. The knot tied at the end of the rope was almost as large as the knot in my throat. As my mind was stunned, my hands followed their last received instructions, "Do not let go." As my body was dragged through the dirt, my face brushed through a small bit of mud that the tears streaming down my cheeks yielded. I looked death in its cold and empty eye hollows and it smiled.
I later realized what a spectacle I had made of myself before the entire student body. I understood how childish I had been in forsaking all dignity for a strip of material of a certain color, and how I discarded my friend for the sake of an otherwise good-spirited competition. My humiliation was made complete when, by the vote of the entire faculty and staff of my gradeschool, I was awarded, in addition to the red second place ribbon, and much to my surprise and shame, a longer and wider pink ribbon--for good sportsmanship.
back to "SAPPP From The Life Tree" main page
back to "For Christ's Sake!" main page